why do you no longer call yourself a ‘therapist’ or ‘counsellor’?

Despite my extensive therapeutic background and integrating much of this expertise into the way I work, I no longer feel like these titles align with either my process or intention. Simply put, I am not here to diagnose, fix, give you specific answers, tell you what to do or how to behave. I am here to enable your own transformation; to remind you of how we work as humans and where our experience comes from, to point you towards your own guidance and wisdom and to nudge you towards taking aligned action.

The expert on you is YOU, and I see my role as co-creating with you to facilitate insights, draw out your inner knowing, and help you become more confident and trusting of listening in to yourself. I will give you my complete presence and attention, listen deeply, and help us create a space of safety, quiet and wisdom. I will offer complete acceptance and curiosity. I will hold your hand whilst you realign and find your centre. I will share ideas, practices and experience. And I will do all of this for as long as is needed, for as long as it takes. But I will absolutely not engage with you from a hierarchical ‘I know best’ standpoint. Quite simply, because I know that I don’t!

HOw Long WILL I NEEd to work with you for?

I’m afraid there’s no one answer to this. Some people only need a few sessions to work through a specific issue. Others value a longer-term commitment and the safe space to share, offload and process feelings that need a container that may not be available in their other relationships. Regularly clearing out and looking objectively at habitual thinking in a non-judgmental, safe dynamic can be a very helpful way to remain centred and show up calm and loving to key relationships.

It’s for these reasons that I typically work in two-month blocks, ideally meeting weekly for up to 75 minutes (face-to-face or via Zoom). Near to the end of each block we will mutually agree whether or not there is a need and/or desire to continue. However, if you think you require less sessions, I’m happy to discuss this too - please just get in touch.

can i work on my relationship even if my partner is not willing to have sessions?

Absolutely. In fact, even when I work with couples or groups I always start with at least one individual session with each person so that I can get to know them and build rapport separately. And I have seen over and over that relationship transformation starts with the willingness to work on ourselves first and take full responsibility for all that we are bringing to a dynamic, positive and negative. Once your partner senses a change in you, not only can this inspire them to also take action to work on themselves, but it very often has a very noticeable impact on the feeling and connectedness of the relationship.

Are you LGBTQ+ friendly?

I long to live in a world where this isn’t a ‘thing’, where nobody has to even ask the question let alone worry that my answer will be anything but ‘absolutely, yes of course’. But sadly, we’re far from being there yet, and I know from my own experience how much fear, judgement and misconception acknowledging these identities can still evoke. Please know that you will be fully accepted in my world no matter who you are, how you identify or what you bring and share, and that my number one priority is to help you feel totally safe and 100% you.

DO YOU WORK WITH PEOPLE IN ethically nonmonagamous / POLYAMOrous / nontraditional relationships?

Yes, I am ENM and poly-friendly and work with people choosing into all of these dynamics and lifestyles, and I recognise these communities are often therapeutically under-served and easily misunderstood. Similarly to my answer to the previous question, I really hope that in the future differing lifestyle and relationship preferences will be as accepted and ‘normal’ as our food choices! But in the meantime, please feel reassured that I am very supportive of any fully consensual and safe practices/lifestyles. And I passionately believe that we all deserve the freedom to choose, but until we open ourselves to ALL options (not just the conditioned, culturally normative ones) we cannot truly do so.

what if i find i have nothing to say or don’t know what to say in the session?

In all my years doing this work I have had plenty of clients who have been worried about this but never had anyone who has actually felt or experienced it during a session once we’ve got started. You can rest assured that I will lead and prompt you, and it’s absolutely not up to you to manage or think about. In fact, the best way for you to show up to a session is to carve out some time immediately prior (even if it’s just 5/10 minutes) to settle down and clear your mind as much as possible. Because it’s when we get quiet and find ways to break through the constant chatter and noise that we open ourselves to a flow and knowing within ourselves that we don’t always notice is there.

i’m not sure i can afford to work with you, do you offer means tested prices?

I do this work because I’m passionate about it and believe this is what I’m here to do. I have to make a living, for sure, but I’m not here to make big bucks. I also strongly believe that therapy should be much more widely accessible, not just to the rich.

For these reasons, I offer a standard price for both standard sessions and intensives, but this is negotiable and I’m very willing to take into account what you truly believe you can afford. I do ask though that in return you show up with similar passion, and a willingness to be open, honest, all in, and face yourself with integrity and courage. Please get in touch here to request more information on cost or to have a chat.